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| By Brian Farrelly and Jay Barba | |||||
| NEW
YORK - Pfizer, maker of the drug Viagra, introduced a new
pharmaceutical product to the market today, an erection suppressant
pill for teenage boys called Naked Grandma. Touted as an Anti-Viagra, the new pill prevents awkward and uncontrollable erections in adolescent boys by stimulating neurons within the brain that produces a naked mental picture of their own grandmother. The pill is the first of its kind to combat the debilitating effects of A.B.S. (Accidental Boner Syndrome) and was discovered by scientists searching for a cure to help recovering sex addict Charlie Sheen. Rod Smiley, a Pfizer spokesperson said, "We hope this will help teens coping with the curse of A.B.S. to live relatively normal lives. Now they can stand up in front of class, watch episodes of 'Friends' with their parents or even participate in Co-ed swim class, all without embarrassment." The Anti-Viagra pill was tested under the most rigorous of conditions. Aaron Roberts of Charlotte, NC was brought to a local Hooters and displayed no visible results. In fact he yelled the words "hot" and "juicy" to the waitresses several times, but only when referring to the platter of Buffalo Wings he was eating. The pill, which many guess is essentially a mixture of saltpeter and Ben Gay (for that old lady smell) has yet to meet FDA approval primarily because of a troublesome side effect from a drug interaction. Naked Grandma, when mixed with Ritalin, causes the patient to become intensely aroused while watching "Murder She Wrote". |
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Sheen happy that his addiction led to a cure for A.B.S. | |||||
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Landsbury worried that young hyper boys may try to attack her. | |||||
