The fourth graders had long been rumored to be fueling the townís recent drug epidemic, but detectives were puzzled as to how they could of possibly learned the difficult process for manufacturing crystal meth (whoís litany of street names include crank, glass and ice, as well as nearly 50 other words the Eskimos have invented to describe it). 

Police finally received a break in the case, though, thanks to an anonymous tip from someoneís nosey kid sister who said the enterprising adolescents purchased a rare version of the Snoopy Snow Cone maker on eBay at http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=350892218 that was recalled in 1985 because the accompanying instruction booklet mistakenly included a recipe for synthesizing methamphetamines.

Acting on this information, the police raided the boyís tree-top lab and seized the snow-cone machine, 6 lbs. of "crank," and several Betty Crocker "E-Z" Bake Ovens which authorities believe they were using to make hash brownies to sell at an upcoming church picnic.

The lilí crime syndicate was later arrested on their Huffy bikes outside the local chapter of The Hellís Angels, with whom they were trading crystal meth to in exchange for rub-on tattoos and candy cigarettes.

The severity of the crime and young age of the offenders doesnít surprise local sheriff Claude Akins, though. 

"Iíve been watchiní those no-good punks ever since they got out of pre-school," he explained while suckiní on a chilidog down by the Tasty-Freeze.